My life is like inception...just a real dark shitty version of it.

 Well what can i say?

things went from bad to worse..

Mr shouty turned out to be Mr gaslighty, drug dealer, almost got us both killed kinda BF.

I left my job to help a friend and hopefully gain more money but that went to shit due to dads depression and moms lack of ability to work with me... 

so then i was jobless... and then  i got into an actual fist fight with my dad. 

so you see life isnt fun..

worst yet...im now fat again.

My wonderful , handsome amazing bf i currently have (till i fuck it up of course) tells me i look amazing and he loves me for how i am...

What a fucking lie.

Bitch please. i can see how large i have become. A size 10 now fits snuggly... when before a size 8 barely stayed on my body...

i feel so disgusting. i am a failure in life and in my weight.

i hate what ive become. 

my new job is 9-5 mon to fri with gym included.

i have no exscuse.. i can workout after work, i will be small again.. i refuse to look like this any more,,,, 

Nothing feels as good as skinny feels. Nothing. even after all these years...i still feel like i am never happier than when im shrinking. into nothing...