Nothing has changed, yet somehow, everything has...

 I feel such relief now I'm on my own. 

It's so much easier not having to make excuses or pretend I'm OK.. 

I guess now it's a waiting game.

The 15 day detox tablets I bought are working a treat in that I've never pooped so much in my life! I didn't weigh in b4 the start, and I still have 5 more days or so to go, I will check at the end as I'm pretty sure I have a rough idea of my  number...

Once completed I'll give a lowdown on the pros and cons and see how I feel and then...

*drum roll please* 

There is this new amazing product with amazing reviews I'm gonna give a go. 

It's for 7 days and I'm super excited to see what happens. !!!

Skinnys the game...and weight loss is the aim!!

What's the worst that could happen,  right??

It's weird how positive I feel about it all. I'm guessing it's because I no longer feel like I'm being watched. 

Hopefully as I'm home they won't notice the weight loss but we shall see.....

One day maybe my life won't revolve around  my weight

I ended it today

 i ended it today

me and him, are over.

i cant say there was any one thing, but a culmination of little things and feelings of suffocation i couldnt get past that made me realise i couldnt continue.

i love him to pieces. but im not in love with him.

plus without him, its easier to not eat. its easier to not have cheat days because he isnt there feeding me or remining me im hungry. 

I have more time to go to the gym.

more time to work on me so i can be small.

tiny

insignificant.

so i cant keep hurting people.

i hate how i am. i hate i can just switch off and feel nothing, it makes all my feelings feel invalid.

but this loss gives me focus. nothing to distract me now. its just me and the desire to be less now.

i can do this,

we can do this

the end is just the beginning.