So after leaving my dream job as i ruined lives, i started at a place that was soul destroying. But it meant i was free...
I got made redundant. Lost my job, my house, my independence. My control..
Im still with the man who shouted at me but things are a lot better now. He jisy needed to see i wasnt gonna up and go when shit got tough. We have been together over a year. I do love him. More than anything. I guess thats why I got comfortable.
Why i got used to being regular.
Forgot i was fat
Let go of the control.
But i cant anymore.
I grained so mucb weight. My clothes felt tight had i knew i had failed.
I was 10 stone again.
More than when i left SW.
Ive never felt so sick in all my life.
So i went on my diet again. Re read my old books. Last time i checked which was about a week ago i was 9st 3 lb. Im trying to not weigh in daily.
Parents will get suspicious. But its hard to hide it when ur being watched.
I dont want to let him down but i cant keep going as i am
Im tooo big. I can see fat and i hate itm im beginning to be ashamed of myself even more.
I know i can do it.
I got to the 7s b4 im aiming for 8stone again. I did 2 weeks of no food before. This should be a walk in the park.
Restrict. Limit. Lose.
I have a plan. Today is day 1 and it goes as follows
DAY 1 700CALS
DAY 2 400 CALS
DAY 3 FAST
DAY 4 500 CALS
DAY 5 300 CALS
DAY 6 200 CALS
DAY 7 FAST
DAY 8 WEIGH IN DAY
Fingers crossed for success. I will work out also. I really miss the gym. Covid has ruined that for me. Yes i can run outside but ita dark and cold now its winter and i did that in the summer i cant do it in the winter as no lights. I fucking hate this.
I just wanna be a pretty skinny girl with a nice home, loving bf and good job.
But right now we will just focus on the skinny...
CW 129 lbs
GW 112 lbs
UGW 100 lbs
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