Saturday, 4 December 2021

Cuz id rather feel pain than nothing at all

 Its not that i want to self destruct, but after the year ive had , i just want some peace.


Im 1 week into the new programme i made up for myself. basically as much of a calorie defict as i can, workouts daily even if its jsut yoga, as long as i do something its all ok..

i just dont feel any smaller. Mom commented  i look gaunt the other day... i swear i almost said thank you...ahah.. dad said i was pale and the bf said i look like id lot weight...but i think he was just saying that to be honest...

what i want more than anytthing is to be small right now. i want to  be on my own, in a comfy bed. quite. nothing more that the sounds of the outside and i want to be small..

im gettiing there...the conditioning is in place soon itll  become second nature again like it was before.... 

everyhing has a number and i know all the numbers...but my on currently....

gonna wait another few days and then weigh in... 

i got this

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